Coming out to your parents is not easy, and Taiwanese star Ah Ben can definitely attest to that.
In a recent episode of Taiwanese variety show Lady Go, the 42-year-old recounted his journey opening up to his parents about his sexuality.
According to Ah Ben, when he was in secondary school, he went through “a very confused phase”. He liked both guys and girls but eventually realised he preferred guys.
However, at that time, the revelation felt like the “end of the world” to him.
As a result, Ah Ben feared coming out, and chose to keep everything to himself. It didn’t help that his parents thought he was going through a rebellious phase and harboured hopes he would “change back” after high school.
But one day, after getting into a fight with his parents, Ah Ben wrote a note and slipped it under their door. The note read: “I just like guys”.
His dad immediately asked to speak to him while his mother broke down in tears, and began blaming herself.
Ah Ben’s parents took more than 10 years to accept the truth.
Before that, they would ignore him whenever he brings a guy friend home. It got to a point when Ah Ben couldn’t take it anymore and finally told his mum: “The guys I’ve brought home previously were all my boyfriends.”
His mum was stunned by what he said and lost her appetite for days. She was still hoping that he could be straight.
Things remained at a standstill until one day Ah Ben’s mum just came to terms with his sexuality.
“Do you have a partner? Do you want to find someone who can take care of you?” she asked him out of the blue.
Even though it took her so long, Ah Ben was glad that his mum was finally able to accept him for who he is.
Her acceptance also influenced Ah Ben’s dad to become more open-minded about his sexuality.
“I’m already in my 40 and my parents’ generation is very conservative. Society’s opinions and values as well as the things they’ve been taught, made it very hard for them to accept that I just wanted to be true to myself,” he explained.