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How to encourage men to seek mental health support, and why many men don’t open up

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How to encourage men to seek mental health support, and why many men don’t open up


Men are generally not good at talking about how they feel. I know: I live with two, my husband and a grown-up son.

When my son was a teen I learned fast that I needed to be all ears when he did speak up – usually very late at night when everybody but he and I had gone to bed.

As I was doing the last tidy-up around the house, he would speak up about difficult stuff at school, about friends, about whatever was on his mind. I learned not to say I was tired. I learned to make a cup of tea for us both and lean into listening.

I hope I encouraged a habit of getting stuff off his chest early, because men are typically much worse than women at doing that.

To help a loved one open up about his feelings, create and maintain regular opportunities for honest communication. Photo: Shutterstock
To help a loved one open up about his feelings, create and maintain regular opportunities for honest communication. Photo: Shutterstock

Globally, more women than men are diagnosed with depression and more women attempt suicide. Yet male suicide is much higher than women’s; in the United States and the United Kingdom, for example, the suicide rate among men is between three and four times higher than that of women.

One theory for this is that women are better at talking about what’s on their mind, and that talking or seeking help serves as a release valve for emotions and mental health crises. Men are not as good at doing that.



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