SINGAPORE: With too many dating apps to choose from and self-improvement often “answers” relationship failures, a growing number of singles are rebelling against the pressure to conform to societal expectations, according to a recent survey conducted by the “women-first” dating app Bumble. Bumble’s 2024 dating trends, released on Thursday, Nov 16, gathered from the perspectives of more than 25,000 individuals globally, including 1,000 Singaporeans, unveil several emerging trends that challenge conventional notions of dating.
One striking trend identified by Bumble is the rising resistance to the pursuit of “self-improvement”. Veronica(not her real name), a 27-year-old communications representative, exemplifies this sentiment, TODAY reports. Refusing to conform to societal ideals of beauty, she candidly states, “I won’t change until I want to, and they have to accept that. Self-betterment has nothing to do with anyone else at this point.” This defiance against the drive for perfection is echoed by 75 per cent of surveyed Singaporeans who are actively taking steps to embrace and appreciate themselves as they are.
The culture of self-improvement has seeped into every aspect of modern life, including dating apps where physical appearance often plays a pivotal role. Edo Lio, a 26-year-old content creator, remarks on the pressure of maintaining an ideal “look” on dating apps: “There’s always this pressure to look better in your photos.” Bumble’s survey findings indicate that this constant quest for improvement has led to 67 per cent of singles in Singapore feeling the need to continuously enhance themselves, resulting in 27 per cent feeling unworthy of a partner.
Bumble’s 2024 dating trends also shed light on the emergence of “slow-dating,” a practice of safeguarding a person’s mental well-being and prioritising quality over quantity in relationships. In Singapore, almost 38 per cent of singles are actively engaging in slow-dating, reevaluating their approach to dating to ensure a more thoughtful and intentional connection-building in relationships.
Andrea Tan, Bumble’s relationship expert in Singapore, comments on the overwhelming influx of messages promoting self-optimisation, preventing individuals from appreciating the present moment. She notes that this constant drive for improvement often instils a mindset of inadequacy like how many are prone to the “because I’m not there yet, I may not be good enough” mindset. She also added that this kind of thinking is particularly more common among women.
Bumble’s survey also showed that self-acceptance is growing, with 42 per cent of women now choosing to date only those who accept them as they are.
Megan Chia, a 24-year-old actress and digital creator, expresses the beauty of slow dating, emphasizing the intentional process of getting to know someone. She highlights that, even if the romantic spark is not ignited, slow dating often leads to meaningful friendships. “I think slow dating for me is ultimately about intentionally getting to know someone else and allowing myself to be known. Although the person and I may not be romantically compatible or there isn’t romantic interest in the end, since we took the time to really get to know each other, it ends up being a great foundation to becoming friends and a good chance for me to learn more about myself, too. The process of slowly getting to know someone is really beautiful,” Megan Chia said.
In addition to slow-dating, the survey identifies the rise of “val-core dating,” where shared values take precedence over physical appearance. Men, in particular, are embracing “open-hearted masculinity,” where vulnerability and openness are prioritised in relationships.
According to Indy100, of people on Bumble believe it’s important for their partner to be involved in politics and social causes. Bumble’s research indicates that women, in particular, are less interested in dating someone with different political views. Additionally, one in three women (33%) finds it a turn-off if their date is not aware of current societal issues.
As Dr Caroline West, Bumble’s Sex and Relationships Expert mentioned to Indy100, “It’s not just [political] opinions necessarily, it boils down to how we treat other people around us.”
As the dating landscape continues to shift, Bumble’s insights offer a glimpse into a future where self-acceptance, intentional connection-building, and shared values take precedence over societal expectations and the relentless pursuit of the “ideal self”./TISG
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