Jessica Hsuan, 53, Has Never Wanted Kids Because She Has No Patience

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You mentioned that you found it hard to play this role because you don’t know how it feels to be a mum. Do you still think about getting married or starting a family?

I never really wanted children since I was very young. One of the biggest issues with me is that I don’t have patience. Whenever I see children I’m like: “Oh my god”. (Chuckles) Children are supposed to be naughty, but with me not having much patience I think I would actually ruin the kid’s life and I would ruin my own. It would not be a happy family.

They don’t have a choice to come to this world, so the day you decide to bring them into this world, you have full responsibility for everything. People said to me: “You think too much. You shouldn’t think, just have [children]”. I said: “No, no, no, I need to provide, not just financially, but most importantly mentally and everything. It’s just so much”.

It’s worse than working. I find working actually relaxing but with children it’s a 24/7 job. And at this age if you’re not thinking of having a family then why get married? At this moment I think I would prefer a companion, just to spend time together, go on holidays. It’s not necessary to have to get married.   

Would you regret never having kids though?

I mean, there are some very good kids. But knowing me, my luck, I think He would give me someone very very difficult to deal with so I thought best not to take the risk (laughs).

When my dad was still alive, he really wanted grandchildren and he knew my brother didn’t want kids so he was hoping that I would. But I said to him: “No” (laughs). So that was very unfortunate. 

How would you describe your love life now?

I am open. Just that I wouldn’t go out to look for anything because I always believe that if it comes, it comes. 

I’m quite happy by myself as well. I think I have a lot of freedom and I also have quite a lot of people around me who are not really happy being married. They always envy me because I have the freedom to just fly off for a vacation. Suddenly if I don’t have work to do I would just fly off somewhere and I don’t have to ask for permission. 

That’s why I always say that you have to find the right person. Don’t just rush into it because you think you’re getting to the age where you have to get married. I think there’s no such thing as having to get married. 

If He wants you to have kids, He will give you kids. If He wants you to get married, you’ll get married. (Laughs)

Was there any point in your life when you actually thought of marrying someone? 

I was asked — it was not a proposal — but my ex-boyfriend said to me: “We are going to get married but I want you to end your career and have kids”. I really appreciated him telling me that because it’s best to be honest before your marriage, otherwise if you get married then decide that you want to go different ways, the problems will start surfacing. 

I thought about it over and over again, and my career was actually taking off at that time because I was in my early thirties. I just asked myself: “Would you regret it one day when you look back?” and it was an immediate yes. So after a while [the relationship ended] because he was looking for something different. It’s best to let go and just move on. 

Was there anyone who made you feel like getting married?

Not really. That ex-boyfriend of mine, he would have been a very good husband and a good dad but I think it was just wrong timing. If he had popped up later then maybe everything would have turned out different? 

Watch the first six episodes of Kill Sera Sera on mewatch here, with three new episodes released every Monday.

Catch Jessica in Bountiful Blessings on mewatch or in the embedded video below:

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