In a later part of the chat, Rainier revealed that he used to want 11 kids.
“I grew up with a big extended family and I like that community, like the very kampong vibe. I wanted that for myself also in the future. But before the chemo, I had to freeze my sperm, but the sperm also not good, so I don’t know freeze for what,” he said with a laugh.
He continued: “When you go through chemo, they will kill all the cells, so that means the sperm will all die. So they try to freeze the ones that are somewhat okay. But because I already had cancer to begin with, so it was affected lah.”
“So how will this affect your thought process moving forward, like talking about kids and all that?” asked Sonia.
Rainier replied: “It’s a conversation I will have with my partner. But I think I also have it easier ‘cos people have watched the video already, and [they know I had] testicular cancer, so they wouldn’t be surprised if they see something missing down there.”
When it comes to not being defined by his testicles, Rainier said: “There’s this age-old notion that… for example for women, it’s the ability to bear children. [Similarly], being able to make babies and procreate and spread the seed is what it means to be a man… last time. But nowadays it’s like you don’t have to have kids, some people even have fur babies. To me, it’s about being stable, being dependable, and also being someone your partner wants you to be.”
Photos: itsclarityco/ YouTube, Rainier/ Instagram
You can watch this episode of Men, Explain on YouTube, and also check out Rainier’s YouTube channel to find out more about his journey.